The Opposite of Homesick

I asked you guys yesterday what you'd like to see on the blog and many of you responded with more personal type posts. I actually like writing personal posts, but I feel like so many people from school read my blog that sometimes I feel a bit insecure about posting something so personal. But, I think personal posts are really valuable and offer insight into the real life of me. Here's a little anecdote about where I stand at college currently.

 When I left for college I was so excited to finally be on my own for once. My parents were never super controlling of my life, but I thought it would be nice to be able to make decisions all on my own for once. I'm not going to lie, going to school in Los Angeles was entirely nerve-wracking. Two thousand miles is a long way aways from home and I can't just jump on a bus and be home in a few hours. I knew this when applying and when making my decision though and I would not have committed if I didn't think I could do it. The night before leaving for school I honestly didn't really want to go. It's not that I didn't want to go to school and experience college life, it was just that I was nervous about being so far away from my family and from what was comfortable. 

The night before I left I was hanging out with two of my friends I must have said, "I don't want to go" at least ten times. For some reason the reality of things doesn't always hit me when it should. When all of my friends left for school before me it truly didn't occur that I wouldn't see them for three months. It felt like they were going away to camp for a few weeks and I would see them soon. I'm lucky though because I really love my school and once I arrived at LMU I couldn't wait to finally start school. I was so eager to make friends and start a new life. This also comes out of my love/hate relationship of high school. Not to say that I hated every aspect, but I was constantly trying to go to boarding school to start a new life and sort of reinvent myself. And college was finally that point for me.

I think something that is worth saying is that everyone will feel homesick at some point in college. In all honesty I haven't felt very homesick while being this far from home. I'm a very independent person though and was constantly doing things on my own be it shopping or even just spending time alone. I truly have not felt very homesick until this week hit. I realized that in three short weeks I will be home again. As excited as I am to finally see my family again and be in a home (and not have communal bathrooms lol), I can't help but be nervous to see old friends. I feel that I have changed a lot in college, and definitely for the better. I have a different outlook on life and am much happier than I was in high school. I'm nervous to see how going home changes this and nervous to see what my personality is like around my old friends. 

One thing I'm trying to reassure myself about though is that college is a different experience and it is good to change and mature in college. And high school is in the past and I no longer need to maintain relationships with people that I had differences with in high school. I think accepting this truth is the first step in understanding that your friends from high school might not be your friends for life. Especially if I hope to live in Los Angeles after college, most of my friends from high school won't even be out west. 

College is a chance to start new and that is what I have definitely taken advantage of in my college experience. I am not looking to abandon old best friends from home, but simply looking to ignore those from high school that made me feel inferior and that never quite accepted me. Because now I'm doing bigger and better things afar!

Sorry for the long post, but I hope this post holds some sort of value for you. 

Xo